


What a Queer Robot!

by orphan_account



Series: HSWC 2014 - Bonus Rounds [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2040195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Without too much more struggle, and no more harm to you than a bruise, you’re able to wrestle Brobot to the floor. You straddle his smooth metal body below you, holding his wrists down as he bucks up ineffectively in an attempt to get you off. Get you off of him, that is!</p>
            </blockquote>





	What a Queer Robot!

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as [a bonus round fill for HSWC](http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/22187.html?thread=6465451&posted=1#cmt6650795), but stunrunner insisted I keep going with it. Inspired by that prompt, but also by canon:
> 
> TT: What.   
> GT: Its just that the whole proceeding seems to become...   
> GT: A bit tender for my liking.   
> TT: I don't understand.   
> TT: Isn't that what you want from a Novice setting?   
> TT: Sparring with minimal discomfort?   
> GT: No i know.   
> GT: Its all fine and dandy martially speaking.   
> GT: Just the way he...   
> GT: Sort of...   
> GT: Man its so awkward trying to convey this just never mind.

You pry Brobot’s sword out of his grip and toss it across the room as you cry triumphantly, “Now we're on even turf, you ruffian!”

With the robot now safely disarmed, you focus your efforts on trying to pin him down against the shag carpet. Honestly, with how much Dirk talked up the fighting capabilities of his creation, you expected him to be a bit more of a challenge. It's only been a few minutes since activation and you're already solidly winning. Without too much more struggle, and no more harm to you than a bruise, you’re able to wrestle Brobot to the floor. You straddle his smooth metal body below you, holding his wrists down as he bucks up ineffectively in an attempt to get you off. Get you off of him, that is!

Goodness, what a queer way to think about it. To be honest, you do sort of have an erection, but you're not certain why. You'd say it's because you really do get that thrilled and excited by new challenges, but it’s never before been exciting in a way that thickens your phallus. Thinking about your best bro seems an equally unlikely cause, so you conclude that it must just be due to the accidental friction of Brobot's abdomen against your crotch as he struggles.

“Egads!” you squeak as Brobot frees one of his hands from your grip. Your distracting thoughts have gone and fricked you up, and you aren't able to catch him fast enough.

Instead of reaching to pry your other hand off though, Brobot’s arm shoots in and grabs your thigh. Your cock jumps as he slides his hand up, slender fingers reaching up the edge of your shorts and further up under your boxers.

“What on God's green earth do you think you're doing?!”

Brobot says nothing. Blasted Dirk didn't bother giving him any capacity to respond verbally, which probably makes your outbursts pointless, but how can you not say something as he tightens his grip on your flesh?

“Gadzooks, man, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were misprogrammed! I've got to talk to Dirk about this.” You know this is the Novice setting, but this is so ineffective at defeating you that it's laughable. Or should be laughable. You force yourself to chuckle nervously.

Aren't you supposed to be fighting him? Perhaps this is a distraction tactic – and if it is, it's working far too well! You grab his arm, ready to yank him away, but once your hand's wrapped around his warm metal limb, you hesitate. Brobot takes the opportunity to shift his hand fully up your shorts, fingertips brushing against your balls.

You gasp, the almost-ticklish but undeniably pleasurable sensation radiating through your body. You shouldn't play with a buggy robot but you've just passed the point where you can really claim to yourself that you want to stop.

“Boy howdy, there must be something wonky in your circuits!” you laugh nervously, voice hitching as Brobot's hand keeps sliding up to cup your balls under your shorts and boxers. “I'll have to let Dirk know straightaway; he'll be most disappointed but I'm sure it's nothing he can't clear up quick as a fox! Can't have his trusty battlebot getting handsy with his best bro. Terribly, gah, unseemly!"

There's no other way to describe it, though you can't make heads nor tails of what sort of coding error could lead him to do this: Brobot is caressing your balls, stroking them very gently with his impossibly smooth digits. Your dick is now quite hard, and you're again surprised but honest-to-Betsy relieved when Brobot uses his other hand to unfasten your fly and pull your erection out of the slit in your boxers. He closes his hand around you tightly enough that you curse, but once he starts pumping up and down, he hits just the right rhythm almost immediately.

“Where in Hades did you learn to do that so well?” you gasp as his thumb brushes against your frenulum, each stroke perfectly steady and just intense enough without hitting the point of being uncomfortably overwhelming.

It's a pointless question for a handful of reasons, but nerves always make you blabber and apparently pleasure does as well. You babble some phrases when you're pleasuring yourself, but not nearly this much. Brobot's presence really does make you feel like there's someone else here, like perhaps it's a metal version of your friend Dirk who's whacking you off, but that's preposterous. Brobot is a robot, and one with obvious programming issues to boot. This likely isn't even safe, but you justify it by reasoning that trying to disengage from a battlebot while it's in the middle of a task is just as dangerous as letting it run its course.

Your balls are tightening under Brobot's hand, and your entire body feels tense. You inhale, sucking in air desperately but unable or unwilling (you're not sure which) to let it back out. You buck your hips against Brobot's hand and you know you're nearly there, you're so _close_ -

“Gosh GOLLY,” you cry, uncontrollably shooting your load all over Brobot's metal face, thick cum splashing onto his glasses (the same glasses as Dirk, and what if this had been Dirk, wouldn't that be hot in its own way?). Your mind goes blank but for that visual, your jizz on pointy shades, and you can't tell if you want to come on Dirk's face or you're weirded out by the thought but it's definitely a thought now and it doesn't fade until Brobot slows his strokes and the last drops of cum drip from your cock. He pulls his hand out of your shorts and releases your still-hard dick as you slump over him, fingernails digging into your own knees as you gasp for air. You weren't aware of just how piss-poor a job you were doing at breathing until you hit the peak and began to slide back down.

Slowly, you climb off of Brobot, shaking and sweating and entirely bemused. _Why did that happen? Why was that so good? Why did I end up thinking of_ Dirk _, for Pete's sake?!_ All the questions circle in your head, chasing each other's tails, no answers in sight. You put your cock back in your boxers and start to zip up, but grimace when you realize there was still a drop oozing out of the tip, making an unfortunate little wet spot in the front of your shorts. Well, at least a nice hot shower will clear your mind.


End file.
